Q:        I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is This true?  

A:        Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it.  Don’t waste them on exercise.  Everything wears out eventually.  Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?

Take a nap.   

Q:        Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A:        You must grasp logistical efficiencies.  What does a cow eat? Hay and corn.  And what are these?  Vegetables.  So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.  Need grain?  Eat chicken.  Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).  And a pork chop can give you 100% of Your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.   

Q:        Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A:        No, not at all.  Wine is made from fruit.  Brandy is distilled wine,that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way.  Beer is also made out of grain.

Bottoms up!  

Q:        How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A:        Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.    

Q:        What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A:        Can’t think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain…Good!  

Q:        Aren’t fried foods bad for you?

A:        YOU’RE NOT LISTENING!!!  Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they’re permeated in it.  How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?   

Q:        Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A:        Definitely not!  When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q:        Is chocolate bad for me?

A:        Are you crazy?  HELLO Cocoa beans!  Another vegetable!!!  It’s the best feel-good food around!    

Q:        Is swimming good for your figure?  

A:        If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.  

Q:        Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A:        Hey!  ‘Round’ is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.  And remember:  "Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride".

AND…..For those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION:  Eat and drink what you like.  Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Obviously, if I were willing to PAY for a hosted blog, things might be different. So far I’m not to that point. I enjoy writing, and hopefully the more I write the better I’ll get. I’m slowly learning to communicate my thoughts in writing better. I may be better off not having had many visitors to my blogs up to this point, as I’m still learning how to defend my ideas.

So far this post is preceded by one other. I’m going to try to import other posts from my previous blogs in an attempt to keep everything together. I think I’ll have to do it manually, however.

That may be part of the weight problem for many people. We have so much going on that we cut the wrong corners. I know people who have kids involved in every sport and school activity under the sun, plus both parents work. The corners they have to cut to make it all work out somehow (I can’t use the word "balance" here for good reason) are apparently all the wrong ones. They cut out rest and nutrition.

We have to cut corners the other way to make things work out. My wife stays home with the kids so we only have my income. We have to buy our cars used and get our furniture for free on Craig’s List. We buy a lot from Sam’s Club and Produce Junction. I’d love to say we don’t eat out as much, but it sure seems like we eat out too much some weeks.

Life is full of choices. It’s important to make the right ones. It often seems that we spend most of life reacting to events around us. I can remember reading Tom Clancy’s "Red Storm Rising", a great novel about a fictional war with the Soviet Union circa 1987, when the staff of our military realized that as long as (we- the fictional US) were reacting to (them- the fictional Soviets), we were losing. It is only by causing the enemy to react that you start to win.

Let me leave you with this question: what good are you cutting out of your life in reaction to other forces, which are not necessarily good. Are you cutting out the time to prepare a nice meal in exchange for other events that may be just as fleeting as the meal?

Maybe this should be my wife’s next laptop. She doesn’t like Dirty Jobs. When I fall asleep with Discovery Channel on, she usually ends up laying awake listening to Mike Rowe say such witty  phrases as "I got poo in my mouth." She says the mere thought of Dirty Jobs makes her want to throw up.

If we had the money, I’d get this for her.

Mike Rowe gets down & dirty with the HP tx2000z notebook.

First off, when I started my new job, I was told to go ahead and order a laptop. I was allowed to pick out what I wanted. I’m sick of being stuck with obsolete technology, so planning to be using this laptop for several years, I asked if Windows Vista was OK. I don’t care what technology journalists and TWIT panelists say, I like Windows Vista. I think it’s safe and secure and one hell of a graphical shell improvement over good old Windows XP.

In order to gain access to one of the networks I need, I have to get my laptop approved by the people on the network. I will say that I have a very hard time holding my mouth back when up against other IT people. I have an IT degree and have been playing around with computers as a hobby for more than a decade, although my experience led me into an engineering position. I hate running up against large IT bureaucracies, as I know that most of the rules and requirements that they have are nothing more than organizational preferences, most of which are BS policies. When I picked out my laptop, I asked if Vista was OK and I was told yes, so I went with Vista. (I wasn’t told yes by these network people, whom I knew nothing about at the time.) I know that you XP Luddites are hoping that XP will last forever, but the truth is sooner or later, Microsoft will HAVE to stop supporting it and I’m planning for that. But, I was told that I can’t get my laptop approved for network access unless I put XP on it. OK, I found a copy of XP, wiped the drive, did a base install, and dropped it off with the techs.

Then I had to deal with another issue. We’re still trying to sell our home in a market that sucks really bad. I hadn’t heard from my realtor in a while, and I left a message last night and another this morning. I broke down and called the brokerage manager. My realtor called back right away. She had sent me an email, but I don’t have access to my gmail account at work now like I did on my last job. I did feel a little bit bad about having to escalate, but I had no way to know that she planned to call me later in the day. I still feel a little bit of shame, but not much. In order to get a signal, I had to go outside. I work in the approach path to Philly International, so while I was talking on my phone low flying jets passed overhead.

Then I got a call from the network people. My laptop didn’t have network card drivers, so they couldn’t do anything. I went to get it back. Go figure, since this laptop was designed for Windows Vista, nobody bothered to write XP drivers for any of the hardware in it. I spent an hour and a half trying to find them, but to be honest, if I wanted to work that hard to find drivers I would have installed Linux.

By then, the workday was over. I just wanted to drink myself stupid. Nobody from my group was around, so I can’t even ask my supervisor what to do about my laptop until Monday. Oh, I can get my laptop on the network if I want to, but if I get caught there will be a lot of trouble for everybody. It’s highly unlikely that I will be caught; I’ve had the laptop on that network with Vista already. I know a workaround, but I don’t want to cause trouble. However, stupid Luddite policies like that one are just begging a geek with my skills and lack of patience to use a workaround. Seriously, this network JUST started supporting Window XP THIS YEAR! Windows Vista has been out for more than a year now, XP has been out for more than seven.

I need to get a job in the group that makes these policies. Anyway, this day was a waste, I got nothing done, I feel a little ashamed at calling my realtor’s brokerage manager to get her attention, and this ranting blog entry is the only thing I have to show for this entire day.

Oh, well. My birthday is Monday. My dad might be willing to get me an iPod Touch, so I might call and ask if I just buy it myself can he send the money. Maybe I’ll have an iPod Touch to show for today. That would be nice. That or at least a six pack of Yeungling.

Actually, there was one good thing this workday. We had a team meeting early. It was my first one, and I met some new people.

Now, you can tell by the background snow and trees and hot chocolate pretty much what holiday it is that they’re referring to. It’s not New Year’s Day. As far as I know, our culture still has the courage to refer to New Year’s Day by it’s proper name.

If we can no longer call this day by it’s proper name, why don’t we all just go back to work then? I read in one column that we’re not having an orgy of consumerism in expectation or celebration of the Winter Solstice. Whether you believe in Him or not, the purpose of this day has to do with Jesus Christ. I know, it used to be a pagan festival known as "Saturnalia", and it still has many of it’s pagan influences, but like it or not it’s now Christmas.

If we can no longer call it Christmas, then as I said before, let’s either celebrate Saturnalia or go back to work. I bet most people enjoy the time off whether they care if it’s Christmas or not.

OK, I broke down and started a blog. I have no idea what to do with it, or even if I’ll let anyone know anything about it. I chose the title of Watchtower because of Habakuk:

Habakuk had some questions to ask God. He did. This was the position he took while waiting for a response. His world was not too different from ours. His society was in a downward slide, and he kept asking God why He doesn’t do anything. God replied that He would use the Chaldeans to chastise Israel. Habukuk’s reaction was along the lines of “NO! Anyone but them! They’re worse than we are!”

So here I sit, waiting for reproof from the Almighty, and trying to figure out exactly what to do with a blog.

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